Held Hostage in Dorset (nearly)

When the Sixpenny Handley brewery decided to expand it moved from one Dorset farm to another.

Locals didn’t want to lose what passed for the pub (even though it only opened seven hours a week). So they arranged for the brewery to supply to a Sports Pavilion just outside the village.

It’s up the hill and behind a hedge from the Village Hall and opens at 2pm on a Saturday. Which is why I couldn’t see it and instead joined the queue for what turned out to be a craft fair in the hall that also opened at 2.

I remarked to others in the queue that it must have good beer judging by the number of people waiting, prompting hearty chuckles but nothing to indicate it was the wrong place. Eventually the truth emerged. There was not exactly high fiving but their collective amusement at my mistake was a perhaps a little too jubilant. Maybe other tickers have been fooled this way and the hoaxes are becoming ever more elaborate. Next they will be keeping us all prisoners in the basement, sending down only crates of Miller Lite and past copies of Wetherspoons News.

One of them got a laugh – he may have muttered “it’s a craft fair not a craft beer fair.” I left them to their pranks, doilies, caribou scented soaps and buttercup jam to scurry up the hill. If only I’d seen this small sign earlier.

The tick was secured with a decent half of the 4% Gold in what is a bar in front of changing rooms for football and tennis. No, I haven’t seen a game there. At opening time the only other customers were a couple thinking of moving to the area. The barmaid encouraged them – after all they need to attract new victims.

A few miles down the road in Cranborne is the new Sixpenny Handley taproom and brewery.

The bar from the old tap is now outside.

Inside is a proper bar.

A glass of the 3.9% Best had plenty of body. Their beers seem to have improved since I last had them. A blackboard advised that Brexit had been added to the list of banned words. Note to certain bloggers: it already includes the word Bass.

Completing a Dorset triple was the White Horse at Stourpaine. It had a proper pub sign.

The village shop was in the same building and there were handpumps in the toilets.

For the unfamiliar, a Dorset Knob is a type of biscuit. At the bar was a line of good ‘ol boys enjoying a lunchtime pint or three. I had a pleasant, toffee tasting beer called English Lore from Gritchie, which is film director Guy Ritchie’s 20 barrel brewery. It used Maris Otter barley grown on his own farm and malted locally.

There were no further attempts at sabotage.

15 thoughts on “Held Hostage in Dorset (nearly)

  1. Great post.

    Same thing happened at Heckington, joined a queue for tea shop with coach parties as didn’t realise brewery under the windmill.

    Surely that original farmyard 6D place should have had an ACV placed on it ? That had real character. Interesting point on beers improving, very good pint in the Museum at Farnham down road.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. “but their collective amusement at my mistake was a perhaps a little too jubilant.”

    Bloomin’ eck.

    “sending down only crates of Miller Lite and past copies of Wetherspoons News.”

    I say, steady on!

    “caribou scented soaps”

    Actually, in all honesty, you have to be pretty *cough* ‘crafty’ to get close enough to a caribou to get their scent on the soap. 🙂

    “after all they need to attract new victims.”

    Pfft. If they moved they’d become part of the chicanery.

    “Inside is a proper bar.”

    And getting ready for Christmas it looks like!

    “A blackboard advised that Brexit had been added to the list of banned words. ”

    According to the sign I believe that is the live penalty word. Whoever paid the fine for the previous word gets to choose the new word and are immune. I can live with that (but not all of the ‘regular’ words). 😉

    “For the unfamiliar, a Dorset Knob is a type of biscuit.”

    Phew! Thanks. I was way off. (LOL)

    “It used Maris Otter barley grown on his own farm and malted locally.”

    Good for them.



  3. Great post Pubmeister – can’t believe how badly behaved those villagers were…I think ‘Don’t you know who I am?’ would have been an appropriate repost…

    Toilet humour again I see – no getting away from it so I might as well join in…
    …beer pumps on the urinals is innovative – but we really should be allowed the pleasure of tasting it first (as we are accustomed….)
    …except for Doombar of course – ok to use that as urinal flush… 😉

    I tried the English Lore at the Southampton Beer Festival this year – as you say not bad at all…

    Liked by 1 person

  4. The picture of the punters probably sums up the place perfectly…not a Winfield style boozer! Great stuff although clearly any pub that bans usage of the word Bass is either (a) Leeds CAMRA approved or (b) hoping to cease trading very soon! Paul Clement looked like he needed a Bass at full tiem last night

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Each guilty person gets to pick the next word apparently. Talking if guilty people, Reading still haven’t won back to back games under PC. Watched it on tv – missed several good chances in first half and paid the price in the second. Blues well organised and strong in air back and front. Reading’s 3 wins this season have all been against teams below them at time of match.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Draw would have been fair result – you were better in the first half we edged the second. I think you’ll be fine but 50 passes doesn’t = a goal unless you are Man City of course and always amazes me why average centre halves in possesion spend so much time in possession!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Yes it’s what happened under Jaap Stam too. We regularly got 60-70% possession without posing any threat at all. The individual players should be good enough at that level but lack on-field leadership – this is the 6th consecutive season of boring football and the crowds have dwindled away. Pondering whether I should pay £35+ for Leeds away in late November when it’s live on Sky. Blues pricing usually quite fair.


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